Wrote this with tears and smile..! Hope it makes a different..!
He said, “I haven’t been in communication with you. But lately I feel like shit. I feel I messed up. I respect you a lot Maria. But the more I watch people became successful the more I feel I’m not good enough, I messed up. I can’t fulfill people’s expectation of me. I can’t fulfill even my own expectation of me. I feel I let everyone down…..”
This is how high achievers who are hard on themselves feel when they don’t accomplish what they set their mind to accomplish. It sounds like one of those valleys I often find myself falling into. Sounds like he is been having a noisy pity party at the bottom of the valley and forgotten this valley one day used to be his mountain that he climbed up. Forgetting how far he came from the day he started and how things are amazing. It’s funny how my team members arrive in some of the places I used to arrive. Some having a loud party, some find a cave to hide and some give up climbing no more and stay there and some die in their valley.. But some are like me stubborn. These things can’t get them out of the game. They find their way out and climb up to the next mountain.
Everything extraordinary in life has these ups and downs. Relationship and marriage, school and career, business and finances and anything else that is important to you. Valleys can get deep and painful at the beginning of your journey. I remember sometimes I felt I would never be able to get out of it. Or it’s the end of the world. Different people have different valleys. Some go through divorce, health crises, financial problems, arguments, negativity..etc And in those valleys their negative self talk which we call pity party and doing nothing lead them to death. And few get up, dust off and keep pushing and climb up to the next hill.
For me personally some valleys were really dark, scary and painful. Valleys like, when a team of hundreds of people left me and I had to start from scratch all over again. Valleys like, my income dropped to almost nothing for the entire year in 2012 while I went full time two years prior. Valleys like I decided to stop talking to my family who were discouraging me until I make it. Valleys like, I was about to give up. Valleys like, those that I trusted, worked and invest in start to violating and abusing the trust and hurting me…etc. And many more valleys you don’t need to know. They were dark, cold, full of tears and I was hopeless and lonely. The point is that everyone go through their own valleys depends on their journey. And they are not the same for everyone.
Many don’t go through the same or don’t have as dark and painful valleys. My philosophy about that always been, “Easy come, easy go. If it’s this hard, it better be damn joyful. I can’t wait to get up there.” And that had me keep pushing for the next hill faster.. I had my pity parties for a bit. But the minute I decided enough is enough. No more pity party. No more self negative talk it was done. The mindset, having a coach or mentor, reaching out to my5, personal development forces you to get up, dust it off and start climbing again. No matter how steep and high the next hill looks like or how the pain looks so real. Keep pushing, keep breathing till you get to the top.
And once you are there, on the stage holding the next leadership pin or award, checking your e-wallet full of cash, your volume flourishing everyday, your leaders are popping up from different side of the world, different towns and countries, numbers are increasing.. You are having a celebrations at the top of your hill, opening the champagne, enjoying life, traveling the world with class and style while you know there are more mountains to climb. Your next mountain is 10k club and then 25k monthly club and then 100k monthly. But you might forget between the mountains there are valleys. As soon as you attempt to climb the next hill you fall into the next valley..
Valleys can be fun or painful. Just like roller coaster. If you understand that it’s coming and it’s inevitable you can have a fun, smooth ride with it and laugh it off.. Keep pushing to climb up and get out of it. If you fight it, don’t accept it, doubt the ride, create illusions and imaginary fears, have a pity party, be in your head, make it mean something about you, negative self talk, try to do it on your own and not use mentors, coaches, my5..etc It will become scary, painful and you can die there. It will kill you.. Called Quitting..!
Next time you are on a roller coaster ride once it’s going down try to close your eyes, trust, enjoy, scream and laugh instead of putting pressure on yourself, be in your head, fight back and be scared. It works. Tanya showed me that in one of the scariest roller coaster rides we had with Minnesota team in Toronto Wonderland last summer. I realized how the scariest rides can be fun and joyful once you TRUST, put your fear aside and stop fighting and resisting it. It’s no different in life and in business.
Here I am again in another valley. Again… I don’t know for how many times. At the bottom of this mountain called NA pin and seven figure club mountain. Been sitting here for a while now. Looks high and hard. And sometimes I feel I don’t have enough support to get there. Looking around this valley I’m in now that called, “retirement from my job with six figure residual income”, that used to be a mountain that I climbed up. Sitting in my warm sunny penthouse tares in Barcelona over looking the Mediterranean sea, the green mountains and thinking what a beautiful valley this is. It’s too beautiful that can get you settle for it. Then I thought I could be in one of those yacht in the sea or on a private jet traveling across the world, purchasing my brand new mansion somewhere exotic in the beaches or publishing my next best selling book. With that thought I got impatient again as I’m looking up to seven figure hill. “Why am I not there yet?! Other people I personally know made it. And my mind automatically start the pity party again… “I’m not good enough, it’s too hard, I can’t do it, it’s not for me, I don’t deserve it, I let my mentors down, I let my upline down, I let myself down, I don’t have to, it’s nice here.. I can live with this….etc. blah blah blah..” and It’s going on and on…” Okay stop.!” I tell myself.. “Now I know what that is.. Let’s appreciate this life that you have. As much as you might feel like a failure you are way better off, and have a great life than the day you started this journey. Remember those days you had no choice. And you were stuck with no option. Get up, dust it off and start climbing the next mountain. The worse you can do is to stop and settle! If you are not getting better you are getting worse and sitting here and settling is eventually leading you to death.”
I picked up the phone to reach out to my5 and then booked five tours this week. More leaders getting developped, more 3way calls for first and second generations this week.. Got my 3 WHYs written in front of me. I’m climbing..! Are you?!
Stay great, trust and please don’t die..!! It’s never late to get off it, stand up, dust off the negative talk, and start climbing up to your dreams. My 5 is here waiting for your call. I love you all..!
The faster you have legitimate failures and see them as light shining on where you need strength and support, the better. You can fill the gap. Also Making promises will strengthen and support you. If you only promise what you know you can fulfill on, you’ll never get out of this stage you are in. Make larger promises!
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 30, 2015